Respect for the Elderly

By JENNY TYNDALE
September Hearts

When was the last time you sat down with your grandparent or elderly parent and asked them to tell you about the old days? Have you ever done so? When was the last time you asked these same people their advice or opinion on anything from a recipe to world events?

In general, we who reside in the western world do not see the value of having our elderly family members in our lives. We overlook the fact that everything we go through today, they went through yesterday. As it usually goes, we like to make our own way in the world, make our own mistakes, stumble along and hope we can work it out for ourselves. This has been the case since we first established our own personalities at an early age.

We can learn so much about a past we will never experience ourselves. An old world, a different world. The world our grandparents lived in. Speaking from my own experience, I’m very glad I had the opportunity to sit and talk with my grandmother about how life was for her during the Second World War. It was fascinating. I felt close to her. And I miss her now she is gone. But she left with me many stories that I can pass on to my own child. A unique legacy.

As a species, there is great diversity regarding how we treat our elderly depending on our cultural beliefs.

The Native Americans have complete and total respect for their elderly people. They hold them in very high regard and are honoured to be loved by them. This culture in particular values the wisdom and experience that comes with living to an old age.

Though there appears to be many cultural differences between the various tribes of Native Americans, one of the few values that are shared by the race as a whole is the care and respect for the elderly members of the tribe. Within the traditional tribes, it is the responsibility of the elder to pass down experiences and wisdom to the younger members of the tribe. And it is the responsibility of every member of the tribe to care for the elderly person. They do not fear death, the Native American believes the soul to be immortal. It is considered an honour to be with the elderly as they pass on to the next realm.

In the Muslim world, there seems to be no such thing as a nursing home. It is considered an honour for a child to care for his or her parents in their old age and as they prepare for the journey that will take them to Allah (God). If the parent becomes difficult to cope with, it is not considered acceptable to become irritated with the parent.

It is stated in the Qur‘an: "Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, do not say 'uff' to them or chide them, but speak to them in terms of honour and kindness. Treat them with humility, and say, 'My Lord! Have mercy on them, for they did care for me when I was little.'" (Qur'an 17:23-4)

Unfortunately, instead of those of us living in the Western world taking a leaf out of their book, those who’s culture compels them to respect and honour their elderly seem to be adopting our way of thinking.

As time rolls on, cultures seem to be losing something very important. Humanity is becoming cruel, cold and very calculating. Money seems to have the monopoly over the respect and honour stakes these days.

Yet, we are still human beings. We still need contact with each other on a regular basis as we are a very social species. And the elderly are no different.

We’ve all been guilty at one time or another of saying or thinking to ourselves “Silly old fool” or similar. When we’re out on the road or shopping in the supermarket, our hurried busy lives compel us to move, move, move and bugger anyone who gets in the way. Yet a little patience and understanding goes a long way. And it isn’t difficult.

We all like to be treated with respect, don’t we? And won’t we all be elderly one day, if we’re lucky enough?

Think about that.